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Fat Talk and How It Shapes Your Body Image
I’m mulling over some conversations I’ve had this week about weight, and am aware that they’re really conversations about body image but that the women I was speaking with do not think they have any body image issues, it’s just normal and easy to talk about losing weight, or not losing weight but making an effort – yes, the old Fat Talk conversations again!
It’s fine-tuned my awareness again of the idea that thin=healthy and that we all have an obligation of some kind to be healthy and therefore to work hard to get or stay ‘thin’.
And it’s a long conversation, getting someone to reconsider their default settings, their automatic restricted eating, their “aren’t I bad because I ate chocolate or chips” comments, their own nasty self fat talk.
Way too long a conversation to have in the lunchroom and with people you don’t really know that well…
What to do?
As we’ve discussed before, there are still a few things you can do:
1. Change the subject, just don’t join in the conversation.
2. If that’s not possible because the people involved are committed to keep diet talking, practice some lines that you can use to start changing the conversation – like, I like to think about the quality of my food rather than the calories because I think my body is good at managing its own calorie needs when I feed it well – or ….. share your idea below?
3. Get really honest and engage in a conversation-changer – like “I feel really unhappy about how often we talk about losing weight and how big our butts are, I really want to talk about things that are important to us as people” or… share your idea below?
I think it really is important to engage in changing the fat talk conversations around us, because if we don’t they will continue and they will keep influencing uas all with bad information and distorting opinions of what is normal and healthy for our bodies.
Because you know, as long as we keep maintaining the fat talk conversations by not saying *something* to change them… are we part of the problem? What do you think?
I have also observed that we talk about losing weight in order to be healthy but maybe we could be saying “let’s get healthy”. With the focus on healthy the weight is less of a focal point. I was unwell a few months ago and as a result gained 5kg which I couldn’t shake. I started to focus on my health instead and now that I am healthy the 5 kg isn’t an issue for me. I just feel amazing being healthy. It is a change in perception which really makes a difference
Oh yes for sure. It bugs me when people use ‘lose weight’ and ‘get healthy’ or ‘get fit’ interchangeably though, because they are SO not the same thing at all! Good on you for the perspective shift
I’m with you ladies, on approaching fitness & diet with the intention of optimizing “health”, versus losing weight. What worked for me was focusing on ADDING MORE of the good stuff (nutritious foods & balanced bouts of exercise) versus TAKING AWAY. I think that shifting your mindset from one of self-deprivation, to permitting a bounty of healthful options, is a more empowering approach to long-term health. I think we’ve conditioned ourselves to think that we can’t have, which just ends up back-firing. So why not just turn that whole idea up-side-down & focus on what we can have!
It does require a paradigm shift. It is as if the “excess” weight were something to recover from, like a bad disease, instead of something that may be an intrinsic part of me.
I just say, “Isn’t there something FUN we can talk about? By the way, how’s your love life?” It causes a person to reboot his or her end of the conversation.
Yes exactly, just what’s needed – thanks for sharing, that’s a question that really engages
people need to realize that being thin doesn’t mean healthy, i have a friend that is WAY thinner than me, but she’s sick from not eating right, on the other hand, i’m a bit bigger…not fat, just a bit bigger, and i am super healthy….i weight 116lbs, which i dont think it’s a lot, specially because i gave birth 4 months ago, and i think i’m actually doing pretty good, but people keep telling me how i still need to lose weight and how it’ll be okay…who told them it wasnt okay? the image of perfection we have is unreal….and it’s sad, i dont want mi lil girl to judge her self by the media standards…something needs to change…
@karen, you’re right, 116lbs isn’t a lot by any standard. You’re already on the right track because you’re aware – your l’il girl is a lucky one
Hmm.. Not joining the conversation would make you left out of the conversation, changing the conversation would look rather obvious. Getting really honest and engaging in the conversation would be certainly good as you can share some of your experiences on what has helped you and what has not, will make you a part of the group and these experiences & tips would be remembered by a lot of them around
Being obvious is sometimes the only way to change the cultural converstaion though?