Ready to start your own body image revolution?
Ahhh Cosmo – now and then in your pages there’s something worth reading, around all the glamour ads, airbrushed artificiality, and how-to-be-sexy guff.
This month (October 08 issue) there’s the results of an online survey of over 500 men, asking them what they think of women. Why is this important? Because women diet and cut and exercise and stress their bodies into disordered eating and ill health, in the name of being attractive, presumably for guys (though there’s other research… another time)!
Cosmo’s results are repeating what the men I know also say. Most of them, anyway.
Mostly what it says is summed up by a comment in Ariel Levy’s excellent book Female Chauvinist Pigs, made by a boy whose name I can’t remember and I’m not going to look up the reference now. Ariel asked him what he thought about girls constantly dieting, and he said that he and most of the guys he knew didn’t see the awful stuff about their bodies that the girls saw, and they just wanted to be with the girls. Not “get with”, *be* with. In other words, men like being around women who like themselves.
And Cosmo’s survey results echo this:
Cellulite and Stretch marks: 85% of men say they don’t notice them and don’t care if their partner has them. Only 15% said it was a turn-off for them. I’d be asking that 15% what they’d want their woman to do about something that happens naturally to almost all women.
A flat stomach or a good sense of humour: 87% prefer a good sense of humour. As one 23 year old guy says, a flat stomach doesn’t last very long, a sense of humour is for life.
Regarding which size is most attractive: 10% like size 6-8, 81% like size 10 – 12, 11% like size 14 . That sounds a lot like the natural distribution of sizes amongst the population to me. Message: only a small percentage of guys like really thin girls, and from the comments it seems they know the difference between naturally really thin and beating-body-into-submission thin. More guys like bigger girls (ie 14 ) than like really thin girls.
What does a man think when a woman orders dessert: 78% think: she wants dessert. That’s all, nothing else. LOL! rock on guys! 15% think thank god she’s taking a night off the diet, and just 7% think “she’s going to get fat”. Probably the same guys who think stretch marks are a turn off.
About women who complain about their body weight: 74% said women who complain about their weight are a bigger turnoff than those who maybe could lose a few kilos but don’t let it bother them. 86% said they’d rather have a relationship with a woman who enjoys food, only 14% said they prefer a woman to constantly diet. Same mob as in the cellulite para, above.
They asked the guys to describe the last woman they slept with. 60% thought she looked great, 30% thought her breasts were fantastic, only 10% were unhappy with something (eg her breasts were too small). As regards gravity-challenged breasts, 62% said they loved it, 30% said they never noticed, and just 8% said they didn’t like it. That’s a full 92% of guys who love the effect of natural gravity on breasts, ladies!
About your weight: 50% of men said you’d have to gain 10-15 kgs (that’s 35 pounds) before it turned them off, and 25% of men said it would take a weight gain of 20-30 kilos. One guy (age 21) said he’d never leave a girl just for gaining weight, another (age 28) said he wouldn’t care at all if his girlfriend gained weight, and a third (age 26) said it would have to be a large amount for him to notice in the first place!
So why are we all starving ourselves and hating our bodies anyway??
I’m reminded so strongly of Maya Anglou’s Phenomenal Woman – go google and read it. It’s about the real physical power of a woman, and it’s all about attitude to yourself, baby!
It’s probably also worth reading my free ebook on the effects of dieting on your sex life.
I am 23 years old and a mother of two, and I have to say that I stress out about my body so much that I have periods where it really depresses me to look at myself naked. My husband says he doesn’t care that my stomach, better yet my saggy belly, isn’t what it used to be. Needless to say I always thought that he was just trying to make me feel better. Along with my belly, my butt and legs are slightly bigger then they used to be too. I am trying so hard to embrace my body, after all I do have a little girl and I don’t want her to have the wrong impression about what is beautiful. The men who think that women need to look a certain way need to be posted on a Real Pics of a Man’s Body and see how they like to be picked apart! After all they will eventually fall apart too! I also think that they need to use real women’s bodies in movies instead of the sickly things they call “real” women these days. Thank you so much for your encouragement, and I think that I am going to rethink that tummy tuck and lipo.
@Natasha, please do try my free body bliss course, it will help you so much! Because we can have these little conversations with ourselves as much as we like, it’s still hard to bring the feelings into the line with the logic isn’t it?
The free course will be a big help in actually shifting the feelings… and please do rethink that tummy tuck, I promise that when you give your body the love that you give to say, your lovely children, your body will absolutely radiate!! it’s not a matter of ‘settling’ for a body you’re actually unhappy with… try it please 
(I’m on a mission to change the world, one woman at a time, and would love it if you’d help me with it 
Sandy
I’m so bothered about my physical appearance and starting to hate it. But after reading your blog, it was changed! You had a fantastic interview with men and I’m starting to love myself! Those guys are absolutely in love with their girls.
Canjie recently posted..exercising to get rid of stretch marks
Canjie I hope you can keep this new attitude