Cosmo recently published the results of an online survey of over 500 men asking them what they think of women.
Why Should Women Care?
Because our whole culture tells women that success, love and happiness comes when you’re “hot”, and the way to get “hot” is to diet and exercise and use every weird new chemical cosmetic and even inject toxins and cut your body to reshape it – because hot is everything, presumably so that guys will be more attracted to you and it’s your duty to please other people! (Yes I’m being sarcastic – you are so much more than a pretty thing for other people to admire or feel jealous of!)
Cosmo’s results are repeating what the men I know also say – most of them, anyway – and it gives men a lot more credit than the media gives them for actually liking women in all our wonderful diversity!
Mostly what it says is summed up by a comment in Ariel Levy’s excellent book Female Chauvinist Pigs. Ariel asked a boy what he thought about girls constantly dieting. He replied that he and most of the guys he knew didn’t see the awful stuff about their bodies that the girls saw, and they just wanted to be with the girls.
Not “get with”, *be* with.
In other words, men like being around women who like themselves.
And Cosmo’s survey results echo this.
Cellulite and Stretch marks
85% of men say they don’t notice them and don’t care if their partner has them. Only 15% said it was a turn-off for them.
I’d be asking that 15% what they’d want their woman to do about something that happens naturally to almost all women.
And if he suggests some form of invasive treatment or he’d be unable to be in a relationship with you, show him the door.
Door = short term pain; putting up with a partner who sees your body as an object for his approval and use = a lifetime of pain.
A flat stomach or a good sense of humour
87% prefer a good sense of humour. As one 23 year old guy says, a flat stomach doesn’t last very long, a sense of humour is for life.
Regarding which size is most attractive: 10% like size 6-8, 81% like size 10 – 12, 11% like size 14 .
That sounds a lot like the natural distribution of sizes among the population to me.
Takeaway #1: only a small percentage of guys like really thin girls, and from the comments it seems they know the difference between naturally really thin and beating-body-into-submission thin.
Takeaway #2: More guys like bigger girls (ie 14 ) than like really thin girls. Natural sizing across populations, anyone?
See also: How you Can Win the Fat Talk Game
What does a man think when a woman orders dessert
78% think: she wants dessert. That’s all, nothing else. LOL! rock on guys!
15% think “thank god she’s taking a night off the diet”, and just 7% think “she’s going to get fat”.
And if she does get fat, that means…. what, exactly? That she’s not worth your highly-valuable entitled attention? See the door solution, above.
About women who complain about their body weight
74% said women who complain about their weight are a bigger turnoff than those who maybe could lose a few kilos but don’t let it bother them.
86% said they’d rather have a relationship with a woman who enjoys food.
Only 14% said they prefer a woman to constantly diet.
Because if she’s constantly dieting to meet a standard set by the controlling male in their life, she’ll have less energy and self-esteem to challenge him on his controlling bullshit behaviour.
If the man in your life wants you to be constantly dieting, see the door solution above.
See Also: You don’t have to try so hard!
They asked the guys to describe the last woman they slept with.
60% thought she looked great, 30% thought her breasts were fantastic, only 10% were unhappy with something (eg her breasts were too small).
Not so small that they weren’t having sex with her anyway. And seriously – she was having sex with you!
Gravity-challenged breasts: 62% of guys said they loved it, 30% said they never noticed, and just 8% said they didn’t like it.
That’s a full 92% of guys who love the effect of natural gravity on breasts, ladies! Let the girls out of their metal cages already!
About your weight
50% of men said you’d have to gain 10-15 kgs (that’s 35 pounds) before it turned them off.
25% of men said it would take a weight gain of 20-30 kilos.
One guy (age 21) said he’d never leave a girl just for gaining weight. Another (age 28) said he wouldn’t care at all if his girlfriend gained weight, and a third (age 26) said it would have to be a large amount for him to notice in the first place!
So – it’s NOT what men want. And are you really here to please every man on the planet, or just find that special one who will love you for who and how you are already? Is your happiness worth all the hate, lovely? Why are we all starving ourselves and hating our bodies anyway??