You Are Not Here to Please Anyone Else

You, lovely woman, gorgeous soul, graceful spirit, are not here to please anyone but yourself.

You are not here to work your ass off in whatever job you’re doing so you can afford this season’s “must have” fashion look, miracle anti-wrinkle serum, to hit the salon every six weeks to cover your dark or grey roots, or body-bashing cosmetic surgery treatment.

You’re not, I promise.

You’re also not here to please anyone else, male or female.

You’re not here to have a body that you have to “work on”, “perfect” or control in any way, for the approval of anyone else.

If your lover says your stretchmarks don’t bother them, believe them. If you think they’re lying to you to make you feel better, accept that as the act of love it is.

If your lover is a bloke, he probably means it – blokes are a bit dense about that stuff you know? They truly DON’T see our “imperfections” the way we do.

Blokes see cellulite and they might think “Oh, cellulite”. That’s all – like “Oh, blue sky”.

It doesn’t mean anything about how much you deserve to be loved.

It means “Oh, cellulite”.

Same with stretch marks, wrinkles, grey hair, freckles, moles, extra rolls of fat or any bones that might be prominent.

They’re just stretch marks, wrinkles, hair, freckles, moles, fat or bones.

None of these things are YOU.

They are a natural normal part of having a human body.

Human bodies are meant to be different, amazing, wonderful, diverse. That’s how they are.

Having a human body that isn’t like the ones you see in the magazines, up on billboards, in shop windows or on every screen doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you, lovely.

It means that the people who put the advertising together prefer that body type. They prefer to find women who sortakinda look that way (less than 1% of women are built like models).

They are carefully made up by experts…

photographed by experts in environments where the light is carefully changed to hide ‘imperfections’….

they have the crap photoshopped out of their amazingly perfect-looking images, by experts.

Start thinking about this:

  • the images you see are not real
  • the images you see are a fantasy
  • they are a projection of someone who probably wishes they look like that fantasy
  • even the woman who is in the image doesn’t look that way in real life

You are not a fantasy.

You are here, now, on this planet, in this time, to do something amazing (even if you don’t quite know what that is yet).

You are real my lovely.

The images of women all around us are fantasy.

Remind yourself of that every time you see one.

Your body is unique.


It can heal from devastating injury and debilitating illness.

It can make another whole human being.

It carries your spirit through your life so you can fulfil your purpose.

It doesn’t exist to live anyone else’s purpose but yours.

If you have been treating your body in ways that don’t feel good, but are designed to get you closer to the Cult of Hotness look, you can stop doing that.

You don’t owe anyone a ‘hot’ body.
I’ll say it again.
You don’t owe anyone a ‘hot’ body.
You owe yourself fulfilment, happiness, peace, joy, delight, every other good thing you can think of.
If working your body hard makes you feel any of those things, then do it.
If having bits of plastic glued onto the end of of your fingers feels joyful, delightful or makes you happy, then do it.
If wearing shoes that make you walk on your tiptoes feels fulfilling, then do it.
If dying your hair a colour other than the one you were born with is fun and interesting, then do it.
If injecting your body with toxins that paralyse the muscles of your face makes you feel peaceful, then do it.
Do it because you love the way you feel when you’re doing it; not because you feel unworthy or inadequate if you don’t do it.
Every time you do something because you believe someone will judge you badly if you don’t do it,you cover over more of your true self.
You lose more of your identity.
You have to work harder to just be you.

Honestly I’m Not Sure I’m Making Sense

What I want you to know though lovely one, is that you are enough.

You are enough.

Just the way you are.

Mother Nature did not make a mistake with your, no matter what the magazines, TV shows or mannequins in the local shops say.

You are good enough.

When you finally feel that, you choose nourishing food. You move your body in ways that feel great. You get enough sleep. You listen to your body and give it was it needs – a cup of tea, a good stretch, time with a friend.

You just are. You can just be.

You owe yourself that….

Help When You Need It

If this makes sense but you’ve no idea where to begin, maybe my Body Bliss 101 course can help you find the steps you need to take? Take a look…


  1. julieke on May 4, 2014 at 11:12 am


    A Poem to all us women young or old,
    every word is true what sandy has told,
    beauty comes from within and only you can let it shine,
    be bold and beautiful your strong your worth it a god given shrine,
    the most beautiful thing a woman can wear is confidence and a smile,
    yes even i was my own worst enemy didnt think i was worthwhile,
    with people close and dear my fella for one helped me see my true being,
    i have all the imperfections …i doo !!!seeing is believing,
    but sandy is right he sees more than a body ..he sees me for me,
    and i know now im everything i should be, want to be,
    and that is what shines through makes a man take note what he sees,
    not what media say or what we think we should nor for anyone to please,
    once you know you are imperfectly beautiful inside and out,
    stand tall eff to the the world show how beautiful you are ..theres no doubt,
    all us women are heart mind soul spirit belief in your self and body too,
    just a lil quote to end this true,be sexy be wild be you!!!!

    • Sandy Ross on May 4, 2014 at 1:08 pm

      LOVE :):) Can’t say what bit I love more :):)

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