Did you see the sunset last night? Oh. My. God. Stunning or what???
I LOVE sunset. If I’m lucky enough to be outside when the sun’s going down I always always pay attention to it. I’ve been known to text my kids or if we’re together to grab their arm and tell them excitedly to look at the sky! (They smile and nod ;))
A sunset never fails to make me smile and enjoy being alive in that moment.
Every single sunset is unique. Different in every way from last night or the one to come tomorrow. Completely beautiful in its own way.
Beauty is a high-frequency state that generates in us feelings of peace and joy and wonder.
Except of course when you look in the mirror. Then all you see is the wrongness of you. All you can see is the butt that’s not big enough, is too big, or the wrong shape, or the breasts that are too small, too big, or the wrong shape, or the tummy, the thighs, the upper arm, the nose, the eyes, the wrinkles ….
One of the main messages of the body acceptance movement is that beauty comes in all sizes and shapes, but when you’re a women who is struggling with food and exercise and all kinds of pills, potions and lotions to have that promised perfect body, it’s really really hard to see ‘beauty’ as anything related to you.
When I was in those endlessly-dieting body hating years, it didn’t matter what anyone else said about anything of me – my clothes, hair style, personality, kindness, abilities, skills – I couldn’t hear them without saying, to myself if not out loud, something like “what does it matter, I’m so fat/ugly/huge arsed/stretch marked”.
I discounted any and every compliment because I felt I wasn’t perfect, and that if the complimenter only knew the truth they would never in a million years even be talking to me!
I’ve long since tapped out the terrible sadness of those wasted years but I don’t forget the lessons I learned.
I know now that beauty is more than one size or shape. I could actually see plenty of beauty in the women around me, the ones I thought had their shit together, who were happy with their weight and loved their bodies.
I know now that almost no women feel like they’ve got their shit together and love their bodies.
I also know though that it takes just one single thought recognising some beauty in one tiny part of you to start turning that tidal wave of feeling ‘wrong’. One tiny thought that you can hold onto and focus on when the I-hate-mes rise up to swamp you.
For me it was noticing how my skin sparkled in the sun. I was reading outside, and the sun was creeping across me as it shrank the shade. I noticed that the little hairs on my arm were glittering. I was quiet in mind and body and so I way paying unusual attention. I noticed that the skin underneath the fine hairs was also glittering, tiny little fractions of light making my skin look alive. It was awesome. I can still remember the feeling it gave me – wonder at something so lovely about me…. it was a turning point that got me started asking questions about all the things I’d though were wrong with me for so long….
Can you find one tiny beautiful thought of you? Please share it….