What an interesting week of fat talk it’s been, and it’s only Wednesday!
First up, research from the UK proved what a bitchy lot we women are, judging one another based on weight within 20 seconds of meeting! If that isn’t an indication that we’re ‘educated’ by media that fat is morally bad and fat talk is okay, even when it becomes body snarking, I don’t know what is. The only good news is that six in ten women said they didn’t mean to judge another, it just happens.
So most of us are aware and notice we’re doing fat talk and judging other women’s weight – awareness is the first step to change so if you’re one of the six, good on you. If you’d like to be, keep reading this site and others like it so you can start being gentle with yourself (yes I know you judge yourself more harshly than you judge anyone else) – gentleness rubs off, I promise (You can start with the ten tips poster, get it by signing up on page one). Read more about the study here, but only if you’re ready for some challenges to your habits!
(aside: men judge women in a millisecond, but they’re not shallow…… so says this scientist! LOL!)
The second fat talk incident shouldn’t have been any surprise, based on the research findings above. I sit on my bottom most of every day, it’s a job requirement! So I’ve developed the habit of going for a walk around the very-hilly block. A new colleague noticed I’d been doing that and her response was something like, “oh we should all do that, imagine how much weight we’d lose”.
I blinked. I go for the walk to move energy around my body, it clears my head and keeps me sparkly so I can go home feeling alive alert awake enthusiastic, not buggered. Which I said.
But you know, I said nothing about the weight comment… some days it seems too hard. One thing I am sure about is that the conversation will come up again!
The third fat talk incident was another automatic comment by another colleague. I was discussing with her that a short video of her explaining the heart of the project she’s working on would be a really useful way to help people understand and enrol in it. She’s passionate about the research, very engaging and incredibly smart. As well, she is a high achiever in her profession and well regarded. Her immediate response was “Oh well, no, I’m so fat…”. (Actually she’s probably average sized, very well groomed and presented).
I said, “Eh, that’s just a female thing, you can film very close in so people see mostly your face” and repeated a few benefits of doing the video. She then engaged in thinking about how she normally talks to groups, and went away thinking that a video might be a possibility.
But this fat talk body snarking thing is so endemic and ‘normal’ that most of us engage in it. I know I’ve written about it before and I guess I’ll write about it again until I start seeing that the world is reflecting that we women can relate to one another in ways that build real trust, not mutual pulling down.
What do you think? Is it possible to get this change, or am I dreaming?
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