Fat talk has hit the headlines three times already this week, and it’s only Wednesday! It’s time to end fat talk, starting here.
Fat Talk Round One
First up, research from the UK ‘proved’ what a bitchy lot we women are, judging one another based on weight within 20 seconds of meeting! If that isn’t an indication that we’re ‘educated’ by media that fat is morally bad and fat talk is okay, even when it becomes body snarking, I don’t know what is.
The only good news is that six in ten women said they didn’t mean to judge another, it just happens.
So most of us are aware and notice we’re fat talking and judging other women. That’s also good news! Awareness is the first step to change so if you’re one of the six-in-ten who don’t mean to be judgey, good on you.
If you’d like to be less judgey, you have to start by being kinder to yourself. Yes I know you judge yourself more harshly than you judge anyone else – kindness rubs off, I promise, and you can end fat talk.
(aside: men judge women in a millisecond, but they’re not shallow…… so says this scientist! LOL!)
Fat Talk Round Two
The second fat talk incident shouldn’t have been any surprise, based on the research findings above.
I sit on my bottom most of every day, it’s a job requirement! So I’ve developed the habit of going for a walk around the very-hilly block. A new colleague noticed I’d been doing that and her response was something like, “Oh we should all do that, imagine how much weight we’d lose”.
I go for the walk to move energy around my body, it clears my head and keeps me sparkly so I can go home feeling alive alert awake enthusiastic, not buggered. Which I said.
But you know, I said nothing about the weight comment… some days it seems too hard to challenge the perceptions and end fat talk.
One thing I am sure about is that the conversation will come up again!
Fat Talk Round Three
The third fat talk incident was another automatic comment by another colleague. I was discussing with her that a short video of her explaining the heart of the project she’s working on would be a really useful way to help people understand and enroll in it. She’s passionate about the research, very engaging and incredibly smart. As well, she is a high achiever in her profession with a Dr. in her name, and well regarded.
Her immediate response was, “Oh well, no, I’m so fat…”. (Actually she’s probably average sized, very well groomed and presented).
I said, “Eh, that’s just a female thing, you can film very close in so people see mostly your face” and repeated a few benefits of doing the video. She then engaged in thinking about how she normally talks to groups, and went away thinking that a video might be a possibility.
But this fat talk body snarking thing is so endemic and ‘normal’ that most of us engage in it.
Time to end fat talk
The thing is – we women can relate to one another in ways that build real trust, build one another up, not mutual pulling down.
If you’re not sure whether or not you’re fat-talking yourself and others down, I made a free fat talk game to help you notice. (If you’re already signed up for my newsletter, it will be coming to you shortly so no need to get it again).
What do you think? Is it possible to end fat talk, or am I dreaming?