You won’t be happy when you’re at size/weight x – trust me, that doesn’t happen, no matter how much the latest celeb diet pusher tells you it will. But you must care about negative body image, and getting yourself past that.
I’ve had the privilege of working with hundreds of women who’ve spent years on the path to that supposed ‘perfect’ size or weight, and without fail they’d tell me: happiness was never in the number. They had the number, they still had the negative body image.
Because there’s always a new ‘most beautiful woman’ that we’re supposed to rush to emulate – to have her hairstyle, butt, thighs, stomach, breasts, flawless skin. That means you. will. never. be. done.
‘Perfection’ in the beauty world is a goal that is always moving; always has, always will. Massive profits (ie you buying stuff!) depend on it.
Unless you opt out of it all now – just stop chasing that illusion of perfection that is someone else’s body. The truth is you are already perfect.
And that’s why you really should care about negative body image, and getting over it.
Nature didn’t make a mistake with you, no matter how different you are from the current definition of hotness.
It just didn’t make a mistake.
If your body is naturally inclined to be heavier, then it is. There’s a reason for that, and you don’t actually need to know what that reason is. If your body has small breasts or a rounder stomach, then it does. There is nothing wrong with you. YOU are an expression of the incredible diversity of life. If you were meant to look like anyone else you’d be a clone my love – you’re not a clone, you’re a unique never-before-seen being. And you’re amazing.
I know you probably don’t feel amazing
You probably feel broken, deficient, less-than, not enough.
You probably worry also that if you’re not a specific size, weight or waist measurement, you’re not as healthy as you could be.
The truth is health and weight are not as connected as the media tells us they are – there are so many factors to your health that have nothing to do with weight and everything to do with the quality of the food you eat, resting, moving your body regularly (and not too much!) and yes, with how you think and feel!
For now let’s look at what you think and feel, and what else is possible.
I know that if you don’t feel amazing you’ve probably taken on someone else’s opinion of how you should look.
You probably already know that their words came from their OWN desire. But really feel that. Their opinion is about them.
You’re not here to live up to ANY ONE ELSE’S opinion – no matter how much you want them to love you.
You’re here to have fun, explore the highs and lows, the wonder and the joy of living in a body, on a planet, learning about yourself from other souls here to do the same thing! You’re NOT here to be anyone else’s fantasy.
If that someone else doesn’t already love you for the whole you as you are, they will also not love you when you have the boob job, the botox, the washboard – because their opinion is NOT ABOUT YOU, it’s about them.
And you cannot ever ever fill up anyone else, no matter how hard you work at it, how much you try to change yourself, no matter how much you give and give and give.
Filling yourself is your job, filling another is their job.
Just like you can’t breathe for someone else, you can’t fill in the blanks in their life either (though of course you can be with them while they do it for themselves).
You’re here to be you, to DO your life.
If you’re busy trying to make your body fit some other mold, you have no energy to live your life, to do what you came here to do, to add your energy to solving the huge problems that face us, or to feel the joy of just living. But when you care about negative body image, and healing it, moving on, you free yourself.
Here’s how to unhook from the habit of trying to be what other people want:
Identify what makes you FEEL GOOD. Do more of that.
If you feel happy, light, energised, inspired, you might still notice that your arse isn’t like Beyonce’s, but you won’t really care. You won’t care that your breasts wear an A cup bra not a DD, or a G rather than a ‘perfect’ C.
You might still notice and compare. But you won’t care about negative body image, that you’re not like that woman, that advertisement.
You’ll be choosing YOU. Your life. Your future. Your happiness. Your finances. You don’t feel compelled to buy the false promise contained in that product.
And THAT is what you’re really worthy of!
And I truly do get that it’s not easy to unhook – most of us women have spent our whole lives learning (or having it drummed into us!) that other people’s happiness is our responsibility.
So if you’re not ignoring what you really want and need while looking for ways to give other people what you think they seem to want, what will you do??
HOW will you do life?
Much love to you 🙂