A few weeks back one of my readers wrote me about her experience with not loving her body, the solutions she kind of fell into, how it’s worked for her and the impact it’s had on her life – and she was willing for me to share the story here; it’s about body building and cosmetic surgery, and the levels of pain around it. She asked that I don’t share her name, so let’s call her Mary.
Mary’s Body Building and Cosmetic Surgery Story
“I started working out in college. I love it.
I ended up meeting a woman who competed in figure competitions which is a softer version of body building.
I saw it as a challenge, I really went after it.
I ended up placing top 5 in my first competition, and went on to do four more, which took me into nationals.
I realized around my third or fourth one that I started feeling picky about my body. I loved my body, but became perfectionistic because of competing. I was around perfect bodies all the time.
I competed in a healthy way, I never took fat burners or steroids, or starved myself.
It was hard to compete, and I definitely watched everything I ate. I developed eating patterns that weren’t unhealthy, but they weren’t real life.
After my last competition, I decided I was no longer interested in this lifestyle. I would still work out and be healthy, but competing was messing with my head, I didn’t know what was normal anymore.
Unfortunately, I saw a ton of fake round, perfect-looking boobs that were proportioned with their nicely shaped bum and abs.
I had it all too… less the boobs.
Because the media makes everything look so simple, mainstream and takes the approach that plastic surgery is no different than dying your hair…you have no idea how many times I heard “Well everyone does something to make themself feel better. It’s not different… you change your look all the time… you dye your hair, wear makeup, etc.“.
I drove me to feel that there was nothing wrong with [cosmetic] surgery.
I ended up getting a consultation and every surgeon I met, I realized had the same tactics… find a flaw, give it a horrible name, and then offer a simple solution with a fluffy name.
“You can have it in hours for a fee”… for example… “You have stage 4 ptosis in your breast (sagging) and you have asymmetry, and a deformity you were born with. We can place ‘gummy bear’ implants”… sounds so fluffy huh, “And you will have all those issues fixed in no time.”.
Same thing with those who have lifts… “We can give you a doughnut lift”… yummy!!!
It’s such a tactic.Surgeons consider saggy and uneven breasts a deformity that needs to be fixed, when it is real life, normal and natural…
I have realized that surgeons are really just salesmen with a doctorate degree.
Yes, they are intelligent and can save people’s lives and offer hope to those with severe things going on like cleft pallet, but they are really preying on those with normal bodies, with normal wear and tear, and normal post pregnancy bodies, and normal saggy boobs, and normal laugh lines, and normal cellulite… for money.
The industry is totally taking over…
Off my rant…
So I ended up feeling worse about myself after my consultation, spoke with my family who supported everything I did no matter what my decision, and I convinced myself I needed to fix my boobs.
After all, what’s the problem. 1 in 20 women have implants, it’s so common… right?
Well, I did it, and regretted it.
Something happened and my breasts were enormous.
I wanted a large C from my small B. I ended up being a DDD!
I was so depressed. I hated everything and regretted everything.
I wanted them out, but now was scared.
Every surgeon said that I would be deformed, saggy, etc from the implants stretching out my breast.
I felt trapped, and hopeless. I couldn’t bring myself to remove them even with my misery.
I decided to do a lot of soul searching. Limiting my magazines, TV, etc. that normalized something that could be related to Chinese foot binding!!!
After a year and a half, I decided I still couldn’t take [the implants] out yet, for fear I would come out the other end resembling a post mastectomy patient (or so said several plastic surgeons) just for being so vain, but I ended up getting surgery to make them as small as I could go.
It’s been [a few] weeks and I feel much better.
I look so much more like myself.
I used this as a stepping stone for when I was ready to remove them, it won’t be so drastic.
I am about one cup size larger than my own original size. I feel like a normal size.
I still hate plastic surgery, and what it means, but for now, this will ease me into my plan to fully remove and be natural.
I know this was the right decision for right now for me.
I am writing you this to let you know such a mistake I made, and wouldn’t recommend anyone to get surgery to fix their body— instead I recommend to fix their body image.
AND… Because I ended up hating surgery so much.. I never want to have that feeling again, that feeling of “I need to fix it” or I want to fix my body.
I never want that feeling ever again… rather, I want to accept myself just as I am.
I wish I never have to look at my wrinkles and think to fix them.
I want to be OK with who I am.
And this world is making it hard.
So for now.. I suck up my stupid mistake for surgery, be thankful I can reverse it, chalk it up to experience, and be grateful it has allowed be the opportunity to find out that I need to learn to love my own body and my own self, otherwise, I wouldn’t have known.”
Mary – thank you for sharing your story so openly. I’d love to share some tapping with you (and other readers) to help work on some of these feelings you have. Please comment below if you’d like me to share this script, otherwise I’ll share with Mary to help her get some ease around all of this.
Mary – thank you for sharing your body building and cosmetic story so openly. I’d love to share some tapping with you (and other readers) to help work on some of these feelings you have. Please comment below if you’d like me to share this script (ten comments will tell me that this is a wider issue), otherwise I’ll share with Mary to help her get some ease around all of this.
If you’d like to contact Mary please comment below, or contact me with your question and I’ll send it on to her – she’d like to maintain some privacy around this but is very happy to answer any questions you might have.