Ask Sandy Your Body Image Question

I get a lot of emails from people who find the site and don’t quite find the answer they’re looking for.

Sometimes these questions are kind of ‘broad’ so I’m pretty sure other women will also be dealing with similar issues.

So I created this page – I know, original name right? πŸ™‚

Please read the following questions and add your own comments to my answers, we all have so much wisdom to add.

If you’d like to ask your own question please scroll to the bottom of the page, there’s a handy-dandy form there and when you hit ‘submit’ it will come right to me in an email. If I can answer your question helpfully I will,

Questions and Answers

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Ask Sandy Your Own Question

 

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8 Comments

  1. vestavictoria on April 5, 2013 at 4:57 am

    Hi Sandy!
    My question, the No 1 question for me, is how do I let go of the fear that overwhelms me every time I think about eating to my body’s promptings? I restrict and then binge, restrict and then binge; and, yes, I KNOW it’s the totally wrong thing to do, I know it’s the very thing that’s keeping me trapped in this cycle…but I’m terrified to just let go and let myself eat what I want. I’m scared I’ll eat and eat and eat and never stop eating until I explode. Yet I know that’s not true, as I had a long,long few years about a decade ago when I ate exactly as I pleased, looked my best ever, was as healthy as they come, was 100% happy etc. I maintained a normal weight for me effortlessly, didn’t even own a pair of scales. Somehow, though, during a stressful period, I slipped down this rabbit hole of restrict/binge, and now I can’t get out of it, even though the stress is long over. And now, no matter how much I tell myself I won’t “lose control” I get scared of what might happen, and I just carry on in the same old vicious treadmill circle of hell. How do I face/break this fear? I don’t know if it’s fear of fat, fear of losing control, fear of change or what, but I’m literally petrified with it. Any suggestions greatfully received – including a verbal kick up the backside if you like: I feel I certainly need something to jumpstart me off this sticking point. Thank you for reading this.

  2. Katie on April 28, 2013 at 11:52 am

    My question is- how do you stop purging? I’m have an eating disorder and can’t stop purging. I also restrict, then when I eat something unsafe feeling I purge which happens lots daily. What do you think I should do?

  3. Haley on April 30, 2013 at 10:07 am

    This question is coming from a teenage girl. Keeping all that goes along with that in mind, I am athletic and a very healthy eater. However Im a rower and I have the body that goes along with that–strong arms, fit core, and i love all that. Its just that I am so insecure about my thighs. You see all my friends have normal thighs and they are smaller than mine. I almost want to cry when I see my friends in bikinis looking just right and then looking down to see my muscular thighs that stand out. How am I supposed to feel when all I want is to be like the rest of friends? I just don’t want to feel like this anymore. Please give me any advice.

    • Sandy on April 30, 2013 at 9:50 pm

      Haley I’ll give you a full reply in a couple of days, promise – out of time right now, appreciate your question though and will get back to you!

  4. Amanda on September 2, 2015 at 1:13 pm

    Hi Sandy,
    I’ve had an ED for 15 years and the last thing to go is the body image. I’ve been working on it pretty hard for a year and a therapist told me about tapping and this website. I was anorexic for 15 years and now I’m at a “healthy” weight, I’m ok with the numbers is just what I see in the mirror I hate. I am a fitness professional, which makes it that much harder and that much more important for me to be a role model for my students. I am always working and wanting a flatter stomache & thinner sleeker thighs. I feel bulky and ungraceful in this new body(I didn’t like my old one either I should point out) I desire more than anything to feel free in my body, love my body, and feel body confident. Help!

    • Sandy Ross on September 6, 2015 at 6:56 pm

      Hi Amanda- sorry to take so long replying, I’ve been sick then my monitor died! Just picked up a new one this morning and am catching up.

      Wow you’re really in a tough situation… and I wish I could say “if you tap here three times you’ll feel much better”. You WILL feel better for tapping but the truth is, for the next while anyway, feeling at home in your body is a choice you make every day, and sometimes several times a day.

      It’s the choice you make when you turn off the TV show that picks apart celebrities’ dress sense and bitches about their weight. It’s the choice you make when you DON’T buy the fashion magazine. It’s the choice you make when you notice that you’re comparing yourself to anyone else, whether your ‘bit’ is ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than hers.

      In other words, it’s your choice every step of the way and it IS hard. Some days I think the whole bloody world is set on diminishing women by making us believe we’re not good enough because we have some new flaw someone dreamed up a product to ‘fix’. And they invite us to GIVE them our sense of self (and personal power) along with our money. And we do πŸ™‚

      Yes I’m cynical πŸ™‚ However, I am also at peace with my body, and kinder to my body than I’ve ever been. I’m sure your therapist has talked about eating mindfully – I’d like to invite you to be kind to yourself, mindfully.

      Notice when you’re thinking unkind thoughts about your body. So if you were to start with ‘feeling bulky in my body’:

      Put your hands on your heart, both hands, crossed.

      Close your eyes.

      Focus on the sensations that come up in your body when you ‘feel bulky’. It’s likely a tightness, twisting or heaviness somewhere – for many women it’s right in the solar plexus (the energy centre that’s the seat of our personal power, surprise :)) Give that feeling a number – 10 is a volcano. It’s the number that pops into your head, not the one you logic into being πŸ™‚

      Stay focussed on that body sensation and tap (about 10 times) between your eyes – no need to say anything, just really stay focussed on the feeling.

      Then tap the corner of your eye (about 10 times) – stay focussed on the body feeling, and keep breathing slowly and deeply.

      Next tap underneath the middle of your eye (on the edge of the eye socket), staying focussed on the feeling.

      Next tap underneath your collarbone, staying focussed on the feeling.

      Now check in with your number again – is it less than 10? If it is, but it’s still higher than say 2, do the whole thing again. Find the feeling and stay focussed on it.

      When you get to about 2, hold onto your wrist, like you’re making a bracelet with your fingers, deep breathe in and say ‘peace’ as you breathe out.

      This isn’t an instant fix but that this point you’ll be feeling a LOT better about feeling bulky. You might need to go deeper – who else in your circle has called themselves ‘bulky’? Who has called you ‘bulky’? See where I’m going? Every time you find a tight heavy twisty feeling, do a quick round of tapping – it only takes one minute or less πŸ™‚

      Keep doing that on every thought and every feeling – when you’ve done 20 or 30 you’ll notice that mostly none of it really bothers you as much. And if you adopt a daily 2 minute ‘feel good’ tapping practice it goes away.

      Yes, honestly.

      Anyway, have a go, let me know how you go – as I said earlier, this isn’t something you’ll fix in a minute but is something you’ll fix in just a few weeks. and then it’s up to you lovely one, to guard your mind and your body from the crap sellers out there πŸ™‚

      Oh also – I love that you’re interested in being an example to your clients, you might be the only person in their life who doesn’t tell them to restrict food or overexercise. How lucky they are to have found you! I’d like to add though that it’s okay for them to know that you have struggled with eating and with feeling comfy in your own skin – so they know it’s a journey, that you’re on the path slightly ahead of them, showing that it is a process and that it’s okay to take it one day (even one cupcake :)) at a time.

      Thanks so much for getting in touch Amanda – and blessings to you on your journey. I’ve love if you’d get back in touch and let me know how you go, or if you have any other questions.

      Warmest wishes,

      Sandy

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