A Story to Change Your Mind About You

Did you hear about this secret society that nine women set up, over 30 years, that made them feel amazingly connected to their communities and to each other.

The whole thing was done with no fanfare, no expectation of getting anything at all back from anyone. They just did it because it felt right and made them feel good.

A line popped into my head from an old song I know, it says “When I help another I help me….”.

And that got me thinking about writing this post because it strikes me that if you’re stuck in feeling *terrible* about your body, about your imperfections, and how you don’t have the life you want because you feel *so* bad – it’s really hard to find the energy to do anything much to change that feeling.

So you can go for weeks, months or even years feeling like life is a huge chore to be tolerated (I know I did) and keep working on your body to try to feel better. Again, I get that.

I also know for sure that one thing that really helped me was being a volunteer – every week for years I spent two hours with kids in a program that was sheer fun. For the kids it was the best two hours of their week, and it was a real highlight in my week too. Along with that though went regular meetings of the adults and lots of administration and was a lot like a second job! BUT the time spent with the kids was amazing.

It helped me enormously to shift my attention away from my imperfections and onto my abilities – helping kids feel happy and accepting of themselves was one!

And so I thought this story I was reading this morning might help you too, to take a look around you, outside of you, and see who you can help in small ways. Believe me, these women were doing small things and they changed their world.

Click here to take a look at their story, and see if you can get through it without a tear or two, dare you 🙂

And please leave a comment below, so I know if you would like me to share more of this kind of story – I know it’s a bit of a departure from the usual ones I share.


  1. Lisa on August 26, 2013 at 8:17 am

    Perfect……love this.

    • Sandy on August 31, 2013 at 6:42 am

      such cool women hey 🙂

  2. Jenny Cutler Lopez on January 23, 2014 at 3:45 am

    I love this…I’m writing a book about people with body image issues and scars. Vicious cycle for some. Poor body image, cut themselves, worse body image. Others achieve victorious achievements by accepting themselves for who they are…but anyway I digress…I love the line you quote ‘when I help another, I help me’. I think even writing about others – sharing their stories – helps them and that in turn helps the writer. Thanks for sharing!

    • Sandy Ross on January 23, 2014 at 7:34 am

      Hi Jenny – yes, such a vicious cycle – and the more we talk about it, the more we help people heal I think. Thanks for sharing too 🙂

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